Almost 9 years ago, I never thought I'd settle down with the guy whom I just got to know from a friend.
The funny thing about us was that I didn't know how he looked like and he doesn't know how I looked like. We got to know one another from a friend, Hakif. And the first time he actually tried to communicate with me was a funny story.
He sms-ed me in the morning, a time where I would be asleep. Dead tired from working night shift. The sms I replied was at night when I was on the way to work, in which time he was already in bed. So the first time we actually tried contacting each other was a mishap. Hahaha.
So we didn't actually managed to exchange much details till the next day.
We chatted on the phone, text messaged each other for about two weeks before we finally decided to meet up. Hahaha.
He wanted to send me to work that night. On the way to my workplace, he asked for permission to hold my hands in which I just said ya. Then once we've reached my workplace, he asked for permission to kiss me on my cheeks in which I said ya. Hahaha.
He began sending me to work and fetching me home almost everyday despite being too tired from work or something. He'd always put me first.
Somehow, I don't know what happened but we just clicked. We like the same stuff, almost. Both he and I were nursing a broken heart. Hehehe. Not actually broken, just crack je actually. Haha. He had just separated with his Malaysian Gf of 2 yrs. Yelah masa tu nak masuk NS, mana ada time nak ulang alik jumpa matair kan? Tulah nak matair dengan orang jauh kannnn..last temu jodoh dengan orang SG gak!
Time I got to know him was when he was halfway thru NS. We naturally became close. Takde sound-sound jadi matair. And kalau tak aku yang bersuara cakap kita takde date nak celebrate anniversary, dia tak sound aku secara formal. Haahahhaa. So we were in a relationship for almost 2 months before he asked me to be his GF on 12/12/2000 at 2 am. Jadi tahun ni is the 9th year we're together. Legally married cap Halal da 6 tahun. Tapi tak guna, ada date anniversary pun kadang-kadang leh lupa. Dah tu takpe, bila orang tanya dia how long have u guys been married? Dia leh cakap 8 tahun!! Ni kes dia rasa da lama sgt ke dengan aku? Pastu leh argue dengan aku, 8 tahun lah... 6 tahun laaa.. sampai aku kena sebut tarikh kita kahwin -300303. Tu pun tetap lupa. Guys, so typical.
Anyways, this past almost 9 years together I've felt a lot of emotions. Anger, happiness, disappointment but we got through it all together. Kalau marah, dua-dua marah...bebual kasar semacam tapi give us a few seconds and we will be rolling up ketawa-ketawa. Perhaps it's cos both of us knows how to cajole the other party.
When I look at others' relationship that didn't last, kadang-kadang aku jadi takot. Especially bila mak aku selalu cakap, jantan sekarang tak guna satu sen. Dia ngata bapak aku lah tu. Tapi bagi aku, jantan sekarang ke jantan dulu ke semua sama. Orang kata, lelaki yang baik untuk wanita baik. Semua orang ada pasangan. Allah da ciptakan kita macam tu.
Before him, I never thought I'd settle down early. Paling-paling pun aku fikir time umur aku 25-26-27 baru nak kahwin. Tapi bila mak dia da sound suruh kahwin, tup-tup plan kita dari nak tunang tahun 2005 trus kene kahwin tahun 2003. Kenapa kita agree dengan apa mak dia suruh walaupun at that point of time both of us weren't prepared to get married? Aku rasa dah sampai masa pun aku tak nak susahkan mak bapak lagi, buat dorang risau and also because I love him very much.
Dah 6 tahun kahwin ni kan, kita da macam kawan. Tapi memang betul, dia lah kawan, dia lah sahabat, dia lah suami, dia lah teman. Aku dah jarang keluar dengan kawan-kawan atau secara sorang-sorang cos rasa janggal. Aku takleh keluar kalau dia takde nanti aku rasa diri aku out of place.
Dia pun sama, kalau dia ajak aku keluar dan aku malas. Dia takkan keluar. Bila aku suruh dia keluar, dia kata tak nak. Takde bini kuar sorang-sorang macam merayau tak kene tempat. Hahaha.
Dia very nice person, opinionated, sporting and will always pamper me first. Mintak je apa tapi kadang-kadang aku kesian tengok dia. Yelah, jadi anak lelaki sulung family dia bukan senang. Tanggungjawab dia kat aku, abih kat mak dia lagi. Kadang-kadang aku rasa benci kat side dia tapi kena terima jugak. Dorang kata kalau da kawin anak, mesti nak kena kawin dengan family dia jugak. Jadi pelan-pelan aku try to accept walaupun kadang-kadang aku takleh accept. LOL. Demi dia.
Kalau dia leh terima keluarga aku, takkan aku takleh terima keluarga dia kan? It's going to be unfair and it's going to cause a lot of problems.
Marriage is something sacred in which kita kena pertahankan with a lot of hard work and effort. It's like building a sandcastle at the beach. Kalau kita buat dia kering sangat nanti dia senang roboh, kalau kita buat dia terlalu dekat dengan laut nanti musnah. So we learn to protect the castle from every possible natural disaster. We learn to add the right consistency of water so it doesn't get too wet.
And we learn to muster all courage it takes to fight off anasir-anasir jahat. Learn to stand up to make the marriage works.
ILY hubster, Happy 6th wedding anniversary!
p/s: sorry for not remembering what our first movie was. haha. u know ily despite forgetting the minor details. LOL
Jadinya begini, seorang saudara aku bakal berkahwin in mid April. Lantas, neneknya yang juga merangkap makcikku merangkap kakak kepada ibuku menghantar kartu undangan untuk ke majlis itu. Tapi hairannya tidak ada satu pun kad untuk kami. Ya, mungkin saja karena kami saudara dekat lalu dititip melalui pesanan mulut saja.
Tapi yang lebih menghairankan aku ialah kartu-kartu itu adalah undangan untuk jiranku, untuk orang-orang yang bisa saja di'pass'kan kartu itu dengan mengetuk pintu atau berjumpa di tempat mereka berjualan. Pelik. Aku terasa seperti babu mungkin. Namun ibuku berkata ia wajib untuk kita jalankan kerana itu satu amanah.
The thing here is amanah. Trustworthy. Tapi how trustworthy do they expect us to be when half the people's name on the cards are people I don't even know or worse still, kenal tapi tak tahu dimana letaknya rumah mereka. Bila ditanya melalui telefon, dia menyatakan si polan dan si anu. But who the hell are these people?
Mum seems to know who they are but because of her condition, it becomes a hinder for her to actually deliver the cards. Dorang ingat mak aku dirumah hanya goyang kaki aja? Well, that's where they're wrong. We are all busy people despite the fact that we are always at home.
Then there's the thing about adat. Adat sememangnya memberatkan. I mean, kalau nak ikutkan adat there are many things yang tak boleh buat. Despite me being a modern woman, I don't really praktikkan adat resam budaya kita but I just follow the basic guidelines with a twince of rebellion. I still believe we need to respect our elders but more so if they respect us back. My mum knows this fact very much as I am not afraid to voice out my thoughts with her. I'm not the same with my in laws because they are the very traditional-anak-cannot-have-different-pemikiran. I'm baffled by their 'knowledge'. I feel smothered when I'm with them cos I can't express myself. Itulah orang kata, different family different ways. Masuk reban ayam berkokok, masuk kandang harimau, mengaum. Despite them acknowledging that they are far more traditional than other people, I still see flaws in their 'traditional'ness.
Like my aunt, kalau nak ikut adat she would be the one who have to pass all the cards herself. My mum and me did it during my wedding. We went around Singapore to pass the card to relatives and friends. Even though mum was having walking problems then, she still pursued to do almost everything herself. For that I salute her. For the strength and for being there for me during my wedding. Helping in every single way.
I'd rather live my life, according to my religion rather than my custom. Kalau mau ikut adat, ya boleh aja tapi ikut cara terus-terusan. Jangan buat kerja separuh jalan aja. And don't claim that orang lain tak kenal adat when it's yourself yang masih terpinga-pinga. Mungkin da jadi amalan orang melayu untuk saling mencerca rather than memberi perangsang.
Kadang-kadang aku jadi confused dengan sikap orang tua kita. Mahunya anak-anak mengikut kehendak mereka. Lantas waktu anak berkata bakal mengahwini janda anak 3, mereka menentang sekeras hati. Tapi mereka tak pernah berfikir secara logika. Kalau hati sudah suka sama suka, kentutnya busuk boleh dikata wangi. Hahaha. Buat apa ditentang? Kan elok aja memberi kata semangat supaya anaknya cepat berkahwin. Makanya mereka terbebas dari segala dosa. Dan I don't think it is in our place to judge gimana personaliti orang itu, gimana isi hatinya, baik atau jahat dengan hanya memandang status. Acapkali orang yang bertudung itu bukan saja menutup rambut dan aurat mereka malah menutup hati dan mulut yang begitu busuk sekali. True, no? Lantas ketika makcikku serta anaknya memprotes akan hubungan anak saudara ku dengan bakal isterinya, aku menjadi marah. Aku berkata pada ibuku, who are they to judge her? Sedangkan Allah memberi umatNya peluang untuk memperbaiki diri mereka berkali-kali apatah lagi kita manusia. Doesn't she deserve a 2nd chance? Dan before they start pointing out her status, they should look at their own status. Sama aja sepertinya; janda. Jika mereka membela diri mereka dengan menunjukkan amalan-amalan baik mereka, mereka sudah ketandusan satu pahala. Mereka menyisih dan mengeji janda walhalnya mereka sendiri janda.
Aku jadi makin tak faham dengan perilaku mereka. Bersolatnya menunjuk, ke kelas ugama menunjuk, bersedekah menunjuk. Gimana hidup mau sempurna jika semua dibuat hanya untuk menunjuk. Bukankah Allah ada berkata, amalan baik yang kita buat tidak perlu menunjuk-nunjuk dan keaiban manusia lain tak perlu kita gembar gemburkan. Jika kita memelihara aib orang nescaya Allah menutup segala aib kita juga. Insyallah.
Well, whatever it is...aku happy dengan hidup aku sekarang. Rezeki sentiasa ada dan juga aku tidak perlu menunjuk. Untuk apa? Cukup aku dan keluargaku merasa nikmatnya. Fullstop.
Life made up of Faith and Hope,
Kat xOxO
Been absent the last few days.
Blame the cold weather. Nice to sleep in. So for the last week or so, I've been lazying in bed and sleeping as early as 10 pm. Hahaha. Weather best pe.
Hubster has caught the fishing fever again. It's been years since he took out his rod and drum. It's been years since we last went for a picnic by the beach. It wasn't until last Saturday where after meeting some people, we went to Changi Village to scout around for a new rod n drum and also to makan.
Took a cab from Loyang Point. It was drizzling then, accompanied him to the shop and I tell you, even when I'm shopping for my stuff it doesn't take that long. And the amount he spent, I can buy my stuff times 2. Heh, and macam biasa lah Kat never has the patience to accompany people go shopping lagi-lagi shopping for something I'm so unfamiliar with. Bleargh!
After shopping for his stuff for an hour, we made a stop at Changi Village Food Court for dinner. I had Beef Hor Fun which sucked and hubster had Char Kway Teow which was pretty nice. Then after dinner, we made our way home. Hubster was pulling a long face cos I didn't entertain him in his shopping spree. Mestilah, kalau shopping benda lain I can give my opinion. Tapi ni shopping barang mancing, satu haram benda pun aku tak tau.
It's not that I don't allow him to splurge. But fishing and photography are two hobbies that are very expensive. Dia plak kalau nak pakai rod/reel/drum murah-murah takpe...his Zziplex-dunno-what-model used to cost him over 500 buckaroos. Then his dunno-what-model drum cost him nearly 2k. Abih bila shopping and him wanting to buy an over 100 bucks drum seeing that i pulled a face, he settled for the less than hundred Penn drum. Hehehe. But overall he spend over 100 bucks for the drum, mata kail, batu ladong etc etc.
Then the next day, we went fishing at Changi. Intended to go just the 4 of us; me, hubster, my brother and Mamat. Sekali, mulut aku pe gatal pi tanya bapak aku. Manalah aku tahu he would say yes. Ingatkan dia main-main aje. Sekali betol dia kuar dengan kita semua. Haha. My brother and Mamat got really pissed off at him cos he has a habit of kacau orang rabak-rabak. Sampai Changi je, lum sempat pasang rod hari pun hujan. Then it stopped and we went to lay out the tikar and bring out all the food. In a matter of 1 hour, it started raining again. I cursed myself for forgetting to bring the tent along. Haha. Then as my dad was sitting talking to me about how nice it is if we had brought along a tent, one of the ladies nearby gave my dad a tent cos she was gonna go home. Ingatkan baik mana lah, rupanya tent tak guna. Air hujan masuk dalam tent. Chets. Dah aku kat dalam tent macam banjir. I had to build a moat in order so that the water doesn't flood the area where I was sitting. Cool pe dalam tent leh buat moat. Hehe.
My dad surrendered early and head to the shelter nearby but how can I just leave all the stuff in the tent kan. Luckily the camera, PSPs and handphones were sealed in a ziplock bag. Protection from rain, and that instant I wished I was a camera or a psp cos I'd be safe and dry in a ziplock bag.
The boys aka hubster, my brother and Mamat were drenched in the rain and because of that decided to terus jump into the sea despite them not bring extra clothes. Giler pe olang!
Fishing nye fishing, at last dapat seekor ketam and seekor ikan apa tah. Pe cinonet tu ikan, I laughed at the sight of it. Hehehe. Tak tahu ah mak aku masak lauk apa. Ikan seekor, ketam seekor. Nak buat sambal pun cukup untuk satu mulut je. Haha.
Went back at around 6 plus pm. Took a bus to Bishan and then we took a train home. Sampai rumah kul 9 plus pm. Semua da penat, bersihkan joran laughed here and there and then by 12 midnight, everyone was asleep. Haha. I was tired. Not because of the fishing but because of tahan hujan dalam tent. LOLX!
Took pics but then again, my lappy is fresh. No photoshop. No software to edit my pics. Sucks!
I'll upload all the pics sooooonnnn...promise!
Ciao~
A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."The woman answered "Well, I have contacts."
The policeman replied "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!"
"Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch'd, unfledg'd comrade."
- William Shakespeare